becoming a young mom

I found out I was pregnant with Jazzmataz when I was just 19 years old.  I was in college at the time and unmarried, living at home with my mom. To put it simply, I was terrified. Mostly terrified of what my mom would think or how angry my family would be. I wasn't nervous at all about my ability to be a mom. Afterall, it's all I ever dreamed of. To my surprise, my mom was fantastic and completely supportive. I moved out with Jazzmatazs' dad when I was about 7 months pregnant.  Leaving my mom was hard, luckily it was only about 2 miles down the road and my aunt was right across the street:) Jasmin was born 2 days before my birthday-my best birthday present ever. Growing up, I knew I wanted to be a mom. And when I first laid my eyes on my baby girl, I knew why.  It is the most stunning moment of my life.


It's interesting for me to see young moms and to hear their stories and to compare mine to theirs. Being a young mom wasn't hard for me-atleast not the way most people think it is. I cherished her, spent all of my time with her, was lucky enough to be home with her all day. It wasn't hard giving up my young adult life before her either. I still had friends and the important ones stuck around and knew jazz and loved her. I knew that I was meant to be a mom, her mom and that this is what life was all about. Her dad and I didn't stay together (long story that I won't go into). We tried but broke up for good when she was about a year and a half. And in all honesty, i can't see how young people stay together.  we were so young, i wasn't half the person then that I am today.  I was still a child.....still had so much growing to do. plus, I always had a fairytale idea of how I wanted my life to be, married to a wonderful man-who was a wonderful father.  I had super high expectations.
Now being a young mom wasn't hard for me.....as far as the loving her, taking care of her, teaching her, not going out with everyone else who was my age, etc. It did help that my mom was so close and could run over at 2am when jazzmataz would be running a high fever. What was hard was the loneliness, it was hard not having someone my age to talk to that was going through the same thing as me. It was hard going to the grocery store and being glared at because I was a young mom. It was hard not being in a romantic relationship and having that companionship. I dated a couple good guys but I always had one guy in mind and I remember thinking....is he ever going to come? He needed to be perfect not only for me, but for jazzmataz.I wanted her to feel just as (if not more) comfortable with him than me. That was my standard-that was my fairytale.
Lucky for me, it came true. I met chris when she was 7 years old and I knew very early on that I loved him....wanted him around for good....and most importantly, he was going to be a great father, we were going to be a great family.
Were you a young mom? What's your story?