Luckily, I have been blessed with a daughter who is very motivated when it comes to school work. I can remember always making it a priority for her even before grades were given because I wanted it to sink in her head-how important learning, grades, etc are. I believe at first she did so well because of all the positive feedback she received whether it was from me, grandparents, and/or teachers. Then she REALLY started enjoying certain subjects and learning and would always use what she had learned in everyday life and I think that really excited her.
Now, as a 7th grader in a school of 1400+ students, she has to do well for herself and of course us. We still encourage her and congratulate her but I seriously doubt she gets the same kind of recognition from her teachers who have a couple hundred students to those teachers we were lucky enough to have in elementary school!
No matter what she has going on in the afternoons and evenings, she manages to complete her homework 99.8% of the time even if she stays up until 11pm doing it which I really don't approve of. And the greatest thing of all is that she really cares about what she is going to get on her report card. In elementary school, we would reward her for making honor roll for the entire year with a gift at the end of the school year from an american girl doll to a cell phone. We didn't do that last year-no particular reason why.
Now of course since she just turned 13, there are things that she wants such as clothes, electronics, etc. and occasionally we will shop when needed. However, I'm not one of those parents who will just go out and buy what she wants just because she wants it or because all of her friends have it or whatever the reason. I want her to learn that you have to work for what you want and I don't want her to become any more spoiled than she is:) So I began thinking, what if we paid her for the grades on her report card? I think she is just producing good habits for high school when her grades will really matter and she is also creating good work ethic. Is it still good enough or satisfying enough to tell her good job and we are proud of you? Why not teach her some responsibility: You work hard each semester, earn a good grade, and get paid for it.
I have never paid her for chores around the house because I just don't personally believe in that. I think that as a member of the family there are tasks for everyone involved and that doesn't include money when the job is done. Otherwise, I would be rich!!! When I need her to do something, I simply ask and she does whether it's taking the trash out, emptying the dishwasher, keeping her bathroom/bedroom clean, or watching her siblings. And best of all, she just does it.
So my husband and I are contemplating on paying her. Here is my idea: A's=$20, B's=$10, C's=she pays us $10, D's or below=wipes out any $ earned for that semester. Tell me your ideas, advice, or experience with this subject.....we just got her first report card so I will be opening up that wallet soon:)
Sometimes I reward my son with grade related gifts, but not for the end result of a good grade but for the effort I see that he puts into getting a good grade. School work comes easily to some kids. Not saying that they don't study and do homework. My son struggles with his school work. He may study just as hard as the other kids,but his final grades don't always reflect his effort. School work comes easier to his sister. She can glance at her work and put very little effort into her homework and still come back with a perfect score. It just doesn't seem fair if I would pay her for her easy earned A's(which are still great that she gets good grades and shouldn't be penalized just because they are easier for her)and not pay her brother for the hard earned c's he gets. That is why I do not pay for grades, but once in a while will give a "bonus". I don't think there is any one right answer. You just need to decide what works best for your daughter and for your family. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteWe don't pay for either but for grades I will reward good report cards with a special dinner out or a special family day! And as for chores same here 4 kids they all have to pull their weight! But at 10 u get a prepaid phone and if u don't lose it at 11 u get on our plan but they have to earn the money for that and other extras by doing extra things for us!
ReplyDeleteThis is all great advice!! I'm about 10 years away from being in this spot- but I was never paid for good grades. My best was always expected. I was also not paid for chores - as my dad said, "We pay the mortgage, you all do the dishes and take out the trash;)" but we did have a small allowance, until we were old enough to get jobs during the summer. Then we had to save it for anything we might want- and they very very generously paid for college.
ReplyDeleteIts a tough call....but i would say NO. She is already getting good grades and doesnt seem to need to be motivated. And even if motivation was needed i would not recomend paying her....u can give her an allowance (generous one) if she keeps... up good grades. But dont tell her its because of grades....As long as she is good on her own let it be..however, do let her know how amazing she is doing on a regular basis...and when the report card comes. Make it special...take her to her favorite resteraunt...tell the waiter to put congrats on her dessert plate....Always let her know how her grades are goona pay off in the future....That is really cool u took the time to make that blog...we need more moms like u.....
ReplyDeleteWe don't pay for good grades. She is already aware that all of her grades will affect he college choices, so she is very motivated. We also stopped giving our kids allowances. They are expected to do assigned jobs as part of the family. We often ask them to do additional work like raking leaves, vacuuming cars, etc, for which they can earn "pay." We count this pay as income and match it with a contribution to their Roth IRA.
ReplyDeleteI feel that rewarding her for good grades will teach hear about how the real-world opporates. Especially in the business world where your performance (on the job) is rewarded with a raise or a bonus.
ReplyDeleteLesson: she can hopefully learn that doing well and working hard results in being able to have/do more of what she wants.
Sorry for taking so long to get back to everyone but I just wanted to thank you all for giving me your feedback, I SO enjoy reading it! We did end up paying for grades....so the total was $130 for 6 A's and 1 B. It just worked out for our family better that way. I'm not saying this will be the best situation for each of our children but we will just cross that bridge when we come to it. And I definitely won't start it until atleast middle school so we have about 8 years:)
ReplyDeleteI feel pretty strongly about this topic, based on my experience as a middle school teacher, a mom, and a tutor who has worked with struggling kids.
ReplyDeleteUltimately, I think it's best for kids to be intrinsically motivated to do well in school. So, if my child was already conscientious about grades and school performance, I would probably not offer a "cash for A's" scenario as described in the article. After report cards come out, I might surprise a child who excelled with a congratulatory present. But this would strictly be a "Hey, I'm proud of you" gift, not offered ahead of time.
However, if my child was struggling in school, and I felt that offering a cash incentive would give the child the motivation to work harder in school, I would do it. Sometimes kids will initially work hard to get a reward, then develop the work habits and confidence through practice. Once they've tasted school success, the good feeling they get from doing well becomes a reward that's more powerful than money or presents. My goal would always be to work toward more intrinsic motivation, though.
I have a DD who is a very good student. I try to de-emphasize grades because she attends a very competitive magnet program. When she does well (either in terms of actual grades, or in terms of study skills or work habits) we will often take her out to dinner to celebrate.
Instead of offering cash for grades, I will give both my kids chances to earn money toward a coveted item by doing chores around the house. They have to have all their regular chores done to accept an extra job (bedroom, playroom, and bathroom clean). I'll offer a range of extra jobs and they can choose whether to do them or not. My son plucked a zillion dandelions from the yard last spring at a nickel apiece, and earned $35 toward a Wii game he wanted. My DD has dusted and washed all the wine and champagne glasses for $ toward a hardcover book I wouldn't buy her.
I see nothing wrong with it, especially at that age. If it is a motivating factor then I say do whatever works for that child. Once that child grows up and enters the work force, the better job she does, the more money she will make, so isn't it basically the same idea??
ReplyDeleteMy 16yo gets rewarded for good grades, but it depends. She and her 2 college-aged uncles are living back in Virginia, in our house, so she already gets an allowance for things she needs. She gets privileges for keeping up her grades. She usually has all A's but sometimes gets a B or C......shes in her district's Visual Arts Academy, so takes Academy classes on top of regular courses (2 college level ones), and plays travel soccer with school sports (cross country in the fall, soccer in the spring)..... For keeping up with her school work she gets unlimited texting/calls on her cell phone, got to get her permit, and drives....she gets new articles of clothing every month or two, because its hard for her to find clothes that fit her right and that she likes, we are flexible with this. She does get rewarded at the end of the semesters, because she works amazingly hard, even without having her parents hovering over. My wife and her mother raised an amazing young lady, who is responsible, caring, mature, smart, and creative. Proud to have the privilege of adding her to my family, and more than willing to reward her hard work....but maybe not with straight cash.....
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